The Great, Creative Depression

I don't know why but I feel a bit down these days. Just like that. I have many things to do, not as much will, but well, life.
Anyways I'm gonna go see Europe on holidays! I'm excited. Maybe I'll manage to meet up with my old friend from London, but nothing sure, yet. Although I don't care that much anymore. Whet will be, will be.
Today I was so bored I draw on my paper cup. My mum says I should buy myself porcelane markers and sell original mugs. I thinks it's a quite good idea! Money and fun!
I found this band "Sleeping at last" as I watched something like AMV about Game of Thrones. IT WAS AMAZING! I really like their music.
Here are some pics of my drawings:

Things I saw lately:
-The treasure planet
-Doctor Who (season 3 episodes 1-7)
-Game of Thrones (catched up)

Things I'm reading:
-The Fault in Our Stars

Things I've listened to:
-Sleeping at last (Atlas mostly)
-everything that was mentioned before :)

Useless, uninspired, drunk wolf

I saw the first episode of Teen Wolf today. Well can't say it amazes me, but I do like Stiles. And the music is cool too! And some actions, but honestly i got really bored when Stiles' not around. 
I wrote five plans of my book regarding 5 different points of view, and planned chapters to eight, I guess, and my muse told me that he leaves and I'm left here without any inspiration or will to do anything. 
The fact I'm writing on this blog now, is just to convince myself I'm not as useless, as I think I am today, but to be honest it doesn't work very well. 
I have 44 pages (A5) so it is good, I think. Just feel empty, and have work to do, and blaaah! Don't know why, but for some reason I'm slightly pissed. I will drink probably after work, maybe my muse will come back. Who knows?
Maybe I have a break down, or something, because scary thoughts like "maybe my book is pathetic and I should just give up", have occurred me.
Have to drink! 

Things I saw lately:
-Teen Wolf ep 1
-Game of Thrones s05e06

Things I listened to:
-Kiera Knightley "Lost Stars" and "Like a Fool"
-Kids of 88 "Just a little bit"
-Perov Stelar "All night"
-Patty Griffin "Go wherever you wanna go"

Hornet with overdued milk

I wrote a sketch of 6 chapters, but when I say sketch I mean the plan of those with 4 points for each. So I also added some things I'll have to fit into the "two" chapters I already have written. "Two" for they create almost 3 and I have a prologue. I'm actually happy where it is going, cuz as I said earlier I had a writer's block for over a year, and now, finally, am progressing! I'm actually excited! 
I still have to create this plan sketch for rest of the chapters, and sit in silence and put everything I was thinking about in one place, cuz I made up so many things, that sometimes even I am lost. But then I remember the missing piece and everything fits perfectly. 
Now I am drinking coffee with milk, which is bit overdue, but not as sour, as I expected, so... meh. 
And also I'm to lazy to go to the shop. It actually doesn't taste bad, so I don't care :)
I made one character (the one I've already killed) quite impressive woman. She's strong, caring and reliable and has many secrets, and also I made her complicated history, so it's even sadder that she died. But she's not the first and not last obviously, valar morghulis!
I had a hornet in my younger brother's room today. It was bloody huge! Gods I hate insects of all kinds. And also a second one tried to fly into my house, but luckily the window was closed. Pheew!


Things I saw lately:
-Once
-Mirror Mirror
-2 eps of Tokyo Ghoul
-22nd ep of Supernatural

Things I listened to:
-OST from Begin again
-OST from Once
-Patty Griffin "Go wherever you want to go"
-Nina Simone "Sinnerman"
-Parov Stelar "All night"
-OST from Les Miserables

Sloth is my sin

I'm supposed to do anything, anywhere near to productive. Yeah. Uh um. So here I am, watching a bread loaf having a bad dream, or a cat jumping, or gods know what, and laughing like, well the stupid creature, I actually am. I even bough myself a beer, and haven't drank it yet. I want to go to sleep, but I have to do some things :/ My eyes are closing. Fu*k that I'm gonna sleep.
I'm not even going to watch 22nd episode of Supernatural (it's the last one! ). Never though I could achieve this level of laziness. But I wrote this post, so it's not that bad. But when I read the first post and this one... I'm regressing.
I lost the ability to can.

Things I saw today:
-some vines that blew my mind


Things I listened to:
-White lies (mostly "The price of love")
-You me at 6 (mostly "Crash")
-many many more :)

Font and murder

I wanted to change my font on laptop. Obviously I can't. At least I have no idea how to do so. I wanted to have some cool font, I don't even know which one, but Arial is boring. 
Although I've killed character in my book. And I'm really happy about it. It's because I had this damn writer's block, and couldn't kill her (yes it's a female) for over a year. Not because it was hard for me to kill her, just had a block. I wanted to do it, thou I liked her, but had a block. The most hateful thing in writers life, I guess. 
I'm waiting for Satan to respond to my invitation for a cup of tea now :)
Now I can't find my Lindsey Stirling CD. I think it's time to clean up my room.
I was on Pyrkon 2015 and it was FAN-TA-STIC! Next time I'll make cosplay :)

Things I saw lately:
-50 eps of Naruto Shippuden (20 to go :) )
-Supernatural S10E21 :/
-Agent's of S.H.I.E.L.D. 2 eps
-Constantine first ep
-Arrow first ep
-Game of Thrones all to 5th ep
-The Conjuring
-She's the Man (again)

Things I listened to:
-obviously not my mum
-Lindsey Stirling (various)
-Coldplay (various)
-Nina Simone "Sinnerman"
-Lady Gaga "The sound of music"
-Hozier "Take me to Church" and "Angel of small death and codeine scene"

Nightmares

I have no idea what to write, to be honest.
My younger brother just found a dead bird, that was killed by my cat and my dog stolen it from her and was running around until she dropped it. My brother doesn't seem very concerned about the fact that it was dead. Well... meh
Anyways the weather is beautiful, and that's an euphemism, for I do not know words to describe today's weather.
I have a big dilemma. There is this party, this Saturday, and i ought to go, but I really don't wanna. As i wrote before, I'm fed up with my mates, but not officially. Like I like 2-3 of them and one of the ones I like have b-day. And it sounds like some teen drama as I read this again. But I just don't wanna go. I want to stay home with my laptop or books. Eventually I can go to a pub to drink a beer or four in nice atmosphere.
Have to go to work now. Nice weather but I feel like shit.
I even have nightmares after The Walking Dead. Bun not those where I wake up sweaty and breathless, but those creepy ones that are scary but fascinating.

Things I saw lately:
-The Walking Dead (some episodes)
-Game of Thrones (S5E1)

Things I listened to:
-Arctic Monkeys (Hambug)
-Coldplay (Parachutes)

Tumblr and champagne

Today I started to use tumblr, thou I have no idea how does it work. But, well I will eventually. It seems rather fun, even thou I heard "Tumblr is made of human tears and ashes of broken hearts" (I made that up, but it sums up everything perfectly).
That's me btw http://donyiako.tumblr.com/
So about the champagne. It's not like I bought myself one. It's an ordinary day today. It's the energy drink I bought. Just to try it. I'm not a fan of champagne. Just curious.
The funny thing that happened today was the fact that they have to suspend the work at expanding a market in our city, just because they found a sword in the ground and archaeologists will take over the case. Wish to see that sword, but I highly doubt it will ever happen.
Wonder what tomorrow will bring.

Things I watched today:
-The Walking Dead (season 1)


Things I listened to today:
-Sherlock soundtracks
-Kansas Carry onmy wayward son
-Supernatural musical
-Birdy - Not about Angels
-Ed Sheeran - All of the Stars
-Strange Sight Reprise
-Waterboys - How long will I love You 

Another day

So i have to say what i did today and yesterday. Well I actually don't have to do anything, but I kinda want to. Yesterday was Monday, if i recall correctly. The Easter Monday. So according to tradition water was supposed to be everywhere. Obviously I went to sleep at about 4 am so at 9am when my younger brother and mother run into my room, the only thing I was able to say was "watch out for laptops" as they were on the floor. Some water on my face and back to sleep. Then my father with water.
After that nothing happened I guess. I downloaded some movies for my parents and me.
Today i was in preschool to cook and clean up. Life goes by. I have to read four first chapters of the multi author novel, so that I can write the fifth chapter. I have a deadline at 11th of April.
Do I have any particular thoughts for past two days? Or for a future? I am not sure about that. I want to buy every book of John Green that for sure. After watching "The fault in our stars" I just want to. Like to have more reasons to want to slap him and hug him, I guess.
I did have some phrase I wanted to write down, but I forgot it. Maybe I'll remember it later.

Things I watched past two days:
-Tinkerbell and the legend of the Neverbeast
-Wreck-it Ralph
-Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb
-Divergent (2nd time)

Things I listened to:
-Supernatural musical
-Birdy - Not about Angels
-Ed Sheeran - All of the Stars
-Strange Sight Reprise
-Waterboys - How long will I love You 

For starter

The magical day of the Ester. As if there is nothing more appealing in world then the full moon night, the anniversary of resurrection.
Nothing that ceased to be ordinary happened today, obviously. For what can possibly happen in a small town like mine? A town where people only live to die. 
Now I feel like an idiot, for I should probably just try to do something with my life, yeah? No, I'm not depressed, I would never kill myself, because I value my life more then anything else. I also love the world, not people, just the nature, the air, the sky... everything, maybe even people a little bit, for I have to admit we are one hell of interesting creatures. I simply do not have an idea what to do. Well who has? Probably loads of ambitious people.
Today, ordinary. Well more or less, for Easter breakfast is not ordinary in my house, once year, yeah, but not daily. My hangover also was out of ordinary, for it means I was out yesterday.
So long story short - I ate more than I should, had an argue, for I'm bitchy when it comes to my brothers and I spent almost whole day watching movies/TV series, even thou I did have an opportunity to go for a party, but I'm not sure I like my mates anymore.
I have to work on my introversion. Like for a starter I will try looking at people. But not just a glimpse, but this creepy stare, like my mums. That's a first step. 

Things I watched today:
-I caught up with Supernatural  (10.12-10.17)
-The fault in our stars
-first episode of Merlin

Things I listened to:
-Florence and the Machine (Lungs)
-Paramore (various)